What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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