I feel like abortions should bother me more
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
