i always forget guys have bellybuttons
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
