I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize