Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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