you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
