I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
