im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
