He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
