It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
sex in a hospital.. check
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
