Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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