You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
