Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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