if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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