It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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