No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My bed smells like the plague
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
