I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
