Say something about gay babies.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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