i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize