used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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