there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
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