she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
