Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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