I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
