I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize