Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
