I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
