Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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