They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
