just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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