I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
