So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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