Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
