I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
