I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
