the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
