I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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