fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize