it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
