if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize