He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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