yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
