I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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