he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
