there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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