Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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