do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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