Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
