I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
