OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
