think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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