Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Vodka?
Forever.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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