Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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