lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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