you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
