First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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