Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
