I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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