He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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