I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
