He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
