maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
