I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
