Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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