My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
