seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
