Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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