drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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