i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
