we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
