I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
