living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
