Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
