hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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