yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
