I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize